The Christmas Spit

I know that the holiday season means a lot of things to a lot of people. I am not sure I know what it means for me and my family, but we are developing it. It is an ongoing process.

When we moved to France 14 years ago, it was a lark. We thought it was temporary. And Christmas was fun -- no stressful family get-togethers, no disgusting meals, no overeating... although it is all about food in France when it comes down to it. It was fun, being in a foreign land, for a few years. The glow wore off when our first child was born.

So many people say, "Christmas is about children." And in many ways it is true. It is way more fun to get a gift for a child who thinks it came from some amazing place far away in their dreams than it is to search and search for just the right thing for a distant relative, who probably won't like it anyway. But for us, it has become more about family than gifts. More about finding ways to celebrate and create traditions than ways of spending money.

I said earlier that in France, Christmas is all about food. And that is mostly right. Food, and families. The French are fiercely family-orientated when it comes to celebrating the major holidays, and well, more power to them. In the best sense, this is good and wonderful and creates cohesion and strength in families. But if you are not part of France (by that I mean FRENCH citizen and not some strange color which most people won't equate with true French citizenship -- yes they are racist here too!) then you are not part of the festivities. People in France, shopkeepers, bus drivers, the daily people, can be relatively unfriendly. At Christmas time, they are downright mean. Christmas spit.

So dh, in his infinite wisdom based on excessive amounts of international travel, has been saying for years that we should take a trip to a neighboring European country for the Christmas season, even if it isn't to celebrate the actual holiday, at least to bathe in another culture for a few days.

Being the chief suitcase-packer and organizer of trips, I have never been too fond of the idea. But I am now a convert. Two weeks ago, dh left on a trip to Austria, where we (me and dds 1 and 2) were to meet him and then we would travel as a family to Munich, Germany, to soak in this amazing season he has always found so lovely.

He was right. It is a culture that lives to celebrate dark, short days with as many means possible to put a smile on anyone's face, especially a child's. Yes, there is commercialism. Yes, people shop there and buy many things. But even that part of the crass spirit was unusual: lines were straight, went quickly, and no one snapped at anyone else. It was just a simple exercise, not a sport or an obsession to buy loads of things.

The best part was the street fair: stand after stand of simple festive food, 'glug-wein' (hot mulled wine that actually tasted good), and a few Christmas ornaments and candles to make things jolly. It was as though several thousand people said, "We don't want to hang around stores or get bummed at home, let's just go out in the street and be friendly and celebrate". So we joined them.

The girls thought it was lovely. We found it relaxing. And the return to France was a bit anti-climactic. But then, at least we have 2 whole weeks with our oldest daughter and our youngest, to enjoy as we please.

We still miss extended family, at least most of them. Sometimes they venture here for a holiday, but not often, which is understandable. Last year my amazing mother-in-law did come, and we had a lovely celebration, but being of German origin she noted that the French celebration was a bit 'dull'. She wasn't complaining, she was observing. She was right. Ah, the wisdom of the elders. And then... being from that culture, she knows how to put the 'ir' in spirit.